Jun/04/2008 - 11:55:35 am
Silence
I have been thinking about this for quite some time. It came to me when I was sitting watching the young dancers strut their stuff up upon the stage where my daughter was in the wings waiting to take her turn with the rest of her team at a dance competition. I loved the interpretations people came up with especially those who felt the music flow through them. They wore the songs as they twisted and manipulated them to give the song life, almost like you could reach out and touch it, perhaps hold it. Like water, their flow ended when the music was over.
A song came up and I don’t remember if it was the name of the song, a refrain or something that I felt at that very moment. The word “Silence” came up and immediately I felt at peace, almost an exuberant peace. I thought about it a bit more as the song was playing and made a mention to myself that I have to write about this.
Silence…the one thing I strived for. The reason I took up fishing, mechanics and purposely being genuinely interested in people, all for that one fleeting moment where silence is comforting and shared. It represents flow, a hum that equalizes the noise in a body, a restful place if only for the moment.
Silence can only come from oneself for when it is imposed, it can be a menace, a restriction to what should be spoken and shouted. It can hang on like a manacle, binding your every move, every thought and every action. It can be the result of fear, of anxiety and of values imposed upon us. It can be a dramatic end, an explosive beginning or a pause of reflection of something that has come to pass. It is used and manipulated in speech and in action, a binding of a cause and effect and a realisation of impending doom or an onslaught.
Not to be confused with “Quiet”, silence is powerfully vibrant, it has qualities many a person strive for and many others fear. It is something that we all need as a diet and expel as a poison. A Society’s silence is daunting, it holds it’s own values in an unspoken box that cannot be broken but only chipped away at and the missing pieces replaced.
Silence is what kept people from speaking out, from being heard and from passing on their heart felt being to another for the fear of being repulsed and put into silence once more. I use silence for many purposes some of which are mentioned and I look forward to seeing it as I have time to reflect, to think and to come to conclusions.
I can spend time in silence for long periods and get easily frustrated when it is broken as a passing thought has fluttered away only to be glimpsed upon at a later time but never fully felt as I initially did.
I vowed to break certain silences where man and beast have suffered immeasurable loss and it makes me angry to think that others can impose themselves thinking that they are the powerful ones, the decision makers and the rulers of all internal and external life. Those are the negative thoughts that inhabit me and it takes all I can muster to come to a positive place where silence is again my friend.
I have help, heaps of it. I get it from others that lend their katra to me for a time so that I can once again begin to heal unknowingly to others and without presence. The essences of me that had been once screaming are now looking forward to when we can swim with each other once more for the benefit of all, carefully equalizing each other in sweet water that holds compassionate love.
All this…
…in silence.
Andre
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